A typical day as a princess

Wake up and wipe the saliva off my face. Why can't I wake up looking like I just came out of a salon? #uglygirlproblems lol. Then kick the 3 inert bodies next to me to get up and get ready for school. Then close my eyes again while they shower, dress and feed themselves and sit in the car to wait while princess gets ready.

Then I get to work and start on the difficult task of facebookery. So I've finished "liking" every status on my FB newsfeed, even though 3/4 of them weren't even semi interesting. Seen all the newborn babies. Deciphered your status and realised you actually haven't been together with your girlfriend for months. Sat riveted while you told me how so very busy you are with SIDS and will it ever end? You must be the hardest working person in SIDS! And then those cryptic messages you are posting on your friend's wall. Why? Why can't you fucking private message them? Save me the hassle of trying to guess what you meant, and were you talking about ME? Because the only reason why you posted it up in public was for us to read. Oh and one more thing. We know it's your first child. But for god's sake we don't need to see a pic every time she opens her eyes, lifts a finger, smiles, poops. Save it for flickr. Just put up the really cute ones, where you're guaranteed to get 100 likes and a heap of "omg she's soooo adorable!" comments. And if your child is ugly, well, ok shut up Nydia.

Following this extremely fruitful exercise, the rest of the day is just a blur, and whatsapp and then omg it's 5pm already?! Then I make my way home to sit around in a vegetable state and wonder whose children these are running circles around me and whining that they're hungry. Didn't your parents think to make you any food?? Well since they haven't, kakala aku se apa elegi e ai, cos ain't nobody got time for a gourmet meal after the long day I've had working my ass off.

Ia fa soifua ua lava lea pepelo mo lenei aso tofi.