Live life, just because dude

I've never thought much about dying, except that if it happens it'll probably be from drowning because I can't swim. Shuddup. Now, on thinking more soberly about it, I would like to die peacefully in my sleep. With my 3 teddy bears around me. And a glass of vodka within arms reach. And a priest. And all my exes living in Texas. Ha! 

So, whilst soul searching (and bawling my eyes out) this past weekend, I came across a few life lessons I need to heed before kicking the bucket:

Tell your kids you love them. Every damn day. Sure, yell at them, beat them up, but don't let the sun go down without drying their tears and telling them they're the best thing that ever happened in your life. Seconded only by a double whopper. 

Stop talking shit. Or limit the shit you talk about. Story of my life. I wonder if they talk shit in heaven. "Eh Pika, ga e faalogo i se kala ia Sakaio ma Malia, oka se paumumuku o lea keige." "Ae sei e vaai la ile ofu a Naomi ga fai ile loku agagafi, ua magaku ifo a ua akoa." Where does it get us? Nowhere. They're still richer, more successful, have prettier babies, and happily married, and don't give a rat's ass what you're talking about. 

Work hard. Reap the rewards. Feel good about yourself afterwards. 

Feed your kids the right food. I thought I could give the girls anything and they would grow up with unblemished complexions and healthy hair and pretty white teeth. Well guess what, you actually have to work at it. Fruits and veggies actually work! And saves you a load of visits to the doctor cos your kids have shitty immune systems from all 10 boiled eggs they eat every day. 

Get your hair did more often, girrrrl. You never know when you might be walking in town and meet the man of your dreams. And his beautiful wife. And walk away knowing you look good. While you're dying a little inside. But you looked good ;) 

Take the kids out. Maccas drive through does NOT count. And don't whinge and say "ohhh if only Samoa was like NZ, I could take the kids to the park, or to mini golf, or biking up the hill, there is like nothang to do over here!". Girl there is a mini golf place across the road from your house. And a beach 30 mins away. And a seawall in town for them to ride their bikes. And for gods sake teach them how to ride their bikes. 

Be a real friend. That means calling your friends up every now and then and ask how they're doing. They could be going through some real shit and have nobody to talk to, and can't reach out because they're too proud. Or whatever. Ok stop talking about yourself. Go out for lunch with your friends. A simple text to say hi. Like their post on FB to know you're still there. And if you don't like what they did last summer, tell them, instead of talking shit about it to other people, or worse, judging them. Wait no talking shit is worse. Whatever it is, stand by your friends man. 

In a nutshell, grab life by the balls and don't take anything for granted. You never know when it could all be taken away from you. 

Ehhh ka fefe i filosofia a Velovaary.