While contemplating my navel sometime last week in my spare time, like, all day, I was thinking. When life gets hard, you have three things. God, family and friends.
Well let me break it down.
God and I, we have a love hate relationship. We go through phases of being really tight, to not speaking to each other. Mostly him not speaking to me. Or answering my fervent prayers to win the lotto and find the cure for cancer. Recently it's been extra up and down. I go through days shaking my fist at the sky and asking "why me Lord?!" and questioning my existence and how come they are happy and have all the material things I aspire to have and, well, never get. Like, ever. Tough luck, God says, remember the children in Somalia.
My family I think are sick of me. Sick of me being useless and semi-functional as a human being for months. The children are growing up despite their mum being a shit. The parents grow more feeble and luckily have other children to look after them because their daughter is too self-involved right now. But even so, they still ask if I'm ok, do I need anything, food, extra painkillers, a gift voucher to the local spa and for gods sakes get your face waxed.
Friends, I have never been in shortage of. At some point I became too sick to be much of a social creature. That right there eliminated half of my friends. Ha! Take away drinks in a club and pwfffttttt, I become but a distant memory of someone they used to share vodka tonics with. I don't care much about that, which is of course why I am harping on about it. What I do care about is one or two friends I used to be close to once upon a time, who know I am sick, and dont bother to reach out. I like to think that if a close friend of mine was in a bit of strife, I would be around, you know. Dunno, maybe I'm just being dramatic. Or my measure of a friendship is different from theirs. Nevertheless, this illness has taught me to be grateful for what I have. And I still have a wonderful bunch of friends who care immensely, to the point of smothering, and I love them to bits. So stop feeling sorry for yourself.
That ends Throwback Last Week Tuesday Navel Contemplation. Tune in for more self pity posts.